Today, I went to HEB to pick up a few items. (For non-Texans, HEB is the name of the best grocery store in Texas. Okay, carry on…) As I went through the aisles, I noticed an enticing pecan pie from the bakery. Now, normally, I’d have baked my own, but I was hungry, it looked really good, and I remembered I had a $3.00 off coupon for any bakery pie or 12″ pie. Just my luck!

I took my items to the checkout and handed the coupon to the clerk. The coupon was one that I had procured at the checkout line of another HEB. When you check out, the printer that spits out the receipt will also give coupons. It’s pretty much a Craps shoot because sometimes they’re wonderful and plentiful, and other times you get one crappy little 30-cents-off jobbie for something you’d never buy anyway, like HEB brand haggis.

After the checker rang up the items, she realized the coupon hadn’t worked. She looked at the pie (which was obviously, to me, a 12″ pie), picked it up, and looked at the bottom. She called over a co-worker and asked him to posit an opinion as to why the coupon didn’t work. He had no idea and so-called over yet another co-worker. They all head-scratched for a moment, and then one decided that maybe the pie was too big.

In my ignorance, I believed that maybe they had 12.5″ pies or something, and I, like an idiot, had picked up one of those, not realizing it was 12.5″ instead of 12″. I was ready to take their assessment at face value. Then, one of them offered the knowledge that a 12″ pie was the size of those in the silver throw away tins with the plastic wrap around it and that THIS was a MUCH BIGGER pie than 12″.

You know those pies, right? In the tiny 8″ and 9″ pie pans? Yeah. That’s what they assured me were the 12″ pies the coupon was good for. As they all nodded and agreed that this was the issue, I realized that none of them even know how long a standard ruler is. None of them thought to try the coupon again. None thought about calling a manager to ask him or her to help the customer with the situation. They came to a consensus as to why the coupon didn’t work and went with it, nodding and smiling as my $3 savings I was so happy about was just flushed down the commode.

No wonder politicians get away with the crap they do. My word, we are in trouble.

This is why y’all need to buy my book. Just click on the picture of the book to the right. Get one for you and your kids, grandkids, your neighbors’ kids…everyone. Maybe, just maybe, if we can get people, kids especially, interested in liberty and learning, we might one day end up with a nation of people who – and I know this is reaching for the stars – know what a 12″ pie looks like.